Oscars 2014 in review: 12 Cheers a Slave

You will already of course be completely acclimatised with the full roster of winners and hot action from last night’s Academy Awards after following my smash-hit live blog all the night long.

But here’s a refresher of some of the highs and lows. Have a read, enjoy and then – like me – we can finally put this whole thing to bed.

Courtesy of Alex Dimond – http://alexhdimond.tumblr.com/ – @alexplosion

Biggest Winner: 12 Years a Slave
I don’t care how many awards Gravity picked up, Best Picture trumps them all hands down. Made all the sweeter for its big two wins going down to the wire, the utter jubilation shown by the cast and crew was so genuinely well deserved. Now let’s just hope that McQueen and Ridley (GREAT name for a cop team) can kiss and make up.

Biggest Loser: American Hustle
10 nominations to its name and not one measly little gold man to take home. Yet, and despite it being my favourite of the nine, it’s difficult to make a good case that any of Russell and his acolytes were robbed. Maybe the director himself had the biggest shout for his script, but you won’t find me suggesting that Spike Jonze didn’t deserve the Best Original Screenplay Oscar.

Best Line: Jim Carrey – “Don’t patronise me”
…at the surprised applause he received on mounting the stage to introduce another redundant hero montage. And as he dropped the justified innuendo that he was snubbed in the past by the Academy (not being nominated for Man on the Moon is among their most criminal omissions) and pulled out some of his rubber faced magic, I thought “Aw, Jim Carrey…we don’t see him enough any more”. Maybe he’d be a great host next year. Or maybe he should take my sage advice and begin taking more show stealing supporting roles in the mould of Christopher Lloyd. Smokin’.

Lupita Nyong’o winning the Best Supporting Actress Oscar (Courtesy of Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

Biggest Hero: Lupita Nyong’o

With such raw nerves on show, it’s always great when the guests look like they’re genuinely enjoying themselves. And despite never having been near the event in her short career, Lupita absolutely lapped it up. She looked utterly stunning and even though I’m not convinced that – notwithstanding the poor quality of the category – her performance deserved the win, it was impossible to begrudge her the unadulterated joy of victory.

Biggest Villain: ……
God, I don’t know. Do we really need a villain? Why can’t we all just get along. Who’s everybody else saying? Ok, I may as well go with Woody Allen too then. Seems like a safe choice.

No, scrap that actually. I’ll got for the pizza delivery guy, for being part of that arduous, tiresome bunch of sketches.

Ooo ooo, or Pink or Bette Midler for their dreadful performances.

Or Harrison Ford for looking like he’d spent the erstwhile years since the last Indiana Jones movie absolutely tanking quaaludes.

Or Solomon Northup; notable by his absence even though the real Philomena Lee and Captain Phillips both made the effort to be there. 

In fact, there are loads to choose from.

 

And on that note of appraising such a litany of heinous acts, the circus doth endeth for another yeareth…or at least for two or three months when the speculation for the 87th Academy Awards commences once again.

I’m already excited…

Guest Picture: American Hustle

Remember that time from last year when a bunch of perfectly ordinary ‘people’ drew, designed and origami’d an assortment of extraordinary images? Sure you do…or at least if you don’t, here’s a reminder.

Well, this year they’re back and they’re sketchier than ever…in more ways than one.

First up (again) is that pint-sized princess or picturedom, Miss Anjoli Dey. We went and saw American Hustle in the company of one another and she basically agreed with everything I said in my review and also that I’m awesome.

What’s more, she done pointed out this bit of trivia platinum:

During my research, I found there was a lot of love for the fashion and styling of the film, but there were some bloopers that were highlighted by some beauty blogs. Mainly, that Christian Bale’s character uses L’Oreal hairspray which didn’t actually exist until 30 years later. So I may have highlighted one of the film’s errors. Oops!

Yep, it’s so good that I’m falling over myself to promote the rest of her darn spiffing work. Go hithers…

www.anjolidey.co.uk

@anjolidey

Courtesy of Anjoli Dey – http://www.anjolidey.co.uk – @anjolidey

And here’s the paper-folding goodness that Anjoli put together last year for Beasts of the Southern Wild.

American Hustle; 2013; Dir: David O. Russell; Stars: Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Bradley Cooper; 138 mins; 9/10; 10 nominations: (Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor (Christian Bale), Best Actress (Amy Adams), Best Supporting Actor (Bradley Cooper), Best Supporting Actress (Jennifer Lawrence), Best Original Screenplay (David O. Russell and Eric Singer, Best Editing, Best Production Design, Best Costume Design)

Bloscars’ Best Picture chart

1.  American Hustle

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

Nomination Appreciation and Guildy Pleasures

And here you were, thinking – and, presumably, hoping – that I’d literally fallen off the face off the earth. The Oscar nominations were announced way back last Thursday and yet not a peep from this ne’er-do-well. Well, when I tell you that I was simply biding my time until a couple of other significant awards were announced (those being the SAGs and PGA) then I’m certain that you’ll understand that there is every chance that what I said is genuinely the case.

But it’s a sincere truthdom that the quantity of excited yelps garnered from this quarter during the last five day period is matched only by those ejaculated when England play Test cricket……except in Australia. I guess what I’m trying to say is that the Oscars race is now finally a go……and that England were a bunch of old toss in the Ashes. Both of which sentiments go utterly without saying.

Prepare to be bowled over by this latest (non-cricket related) news:

Oscar nominations

Last year’s complete nut house of a nominations announcement was always going to be a difficult act to follow; but there were enough surprises on Thursday to prevent one from snoozing off to Chris Hemsworth’s monosyllabic, antipodean tones. You can find the full list (it goes on and on and then on some more) at the bottom of this here post.

Boat-based suspense festival Captain Phillips was at the centre of the most glaring omissions. While it clambered like a gang of grizzled Somali bandits aboard the good-ship ‘Best Picture nomination’, Tom Hanks, Paul Greengrass and Barry Ackroyd all got, for the thinly veiled want of a better expression, mugged off in the respective Director (Alexander Payne and Marty were preferred), Actor (a case of thanks, but no T Hanks. Brilliant) and Cinematography categories.

For Your Consideration: American Hustle

American Hustle (2013)

Hot off the heels of two very hot Oscar favourites in three years, comes red-hot David O. Russell’s hot new Academy-fancied flick American Hustle. Now that’s really hot.

David O. Russell’s American Hustle (MAN, that’s satisfying to say) is a film utterly clad in veneer. It’s very much a haircuts, nail varnish, dodgy accents, more hair, heaving cleavage, aviators, even more hair kind of a movie.

Set in 1970s New Jersey, Christian Bale’s be-toupéed Irving Rosenfeld is a flabby career-conman, making decent wedge from knocked-off paintings and trifling lending scams; juggling his be-bouffanted, haphazard handful of a trophy wife Rosalyn (Jennifer Lawrence) and be-frizzied soul-mate and partner-in-crime Sydney (Amy Adams). When be-permed, ambitious undercover cop Richie DiMaso (Bradley Cooper) busts Irving and Sydney, he offers them the chance to secure their freedom by bagging him bigger fish in the form of senators, governors and be-pompadoured family man and mayor of Atlantic City Carmine Polito (Jeremy Renner).

But despite all the facade and the follicle topiary, you’d be a fool (a fool I say) to labour under the misapprehension that American Hustle hasn’t got depth; it’s got it in volumes.