Guest Picture: Nebraska

Read my review of Nebraska and it’ll quickly become clear that I think it’s an awful picture.

Luckily, wonderfully talented artist and general door fan (don’t ask) Gail Hodson-Walker is pretty much unable to create a bad pciture. Just take a look at the below for utter evidence.

Gail’s Tumblr – Gail’s Twitter

Courtesy of Gail Hodson-Walker – http://linea64.com/ – @gailyhw

And here’s Gail’s feline Guest Picture for Life of Pi last year.

Nebraska; 2013; Dir: Alexander Payne; Stars: Bruce Dern, Will Forte, June Squibb; 115 mins; 3/10; 6 nominations: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor (Bruce Dern), Best Supporting Actress (June Squibb), Best Original Screenplay (Bob Nelson), Best Cinematography (Phedon Papamichael)

Bloscars’ Best Picture chart

1.  American Hustle

2.  12 Years a Slave

3.  Her

4.  The Wolf of Wall Street

5.  Captain Phillips

6.  Philomena

7.  Dallas Buyers Club

8.  Gravity

9.  Nebraska

Guest Picture: Her

Ideally, I wanted to open this post with a joke about how if I was to ever fall in love with a computer operating system, I’d want it to have the Nottinghamshire tones of dear Natasha Searston.

But then I realised that I couldn’t do so without it sounding a) seedy; b) insulting; or c) seedy and insulting.

So I shall, instead, simply bid you to take a look at her vibrantly brilliant artwork for Spike Jonze’s Her, reviewed here by him…that is to say, me.

www.natashasearston.com – @natashasearston

Courtesy of Natasha Searston – http://www.natashasearston.com – @natashasearston

And Natasha produced this cineliterate Guest Picture for last year’s Best Picture winner Argo.

Her; 2013; Dir: Spike Jonze; Stars Joaquin Phoenix, Scarlett Johansson, Amy Adams; 126 mins; 8/10; 5 nominations: Best Picture, Best Original Screenplay (Spike Jonze), Best Original Score (Will Butler and Owen Pallett), Best Original Song: The Moon Song (Karen O and Spike Jonze), Best Production Design

Bloscars’ Best Picture chart

1.  American Hustle

2.  12 Years a Slave

3.  Her

4.  The Wolf of Wall Street

5.  Captain Phillips

6.  Philomena

7.  Dallas Buyers Club

8.  Gravity

9.  Nebraska

Guest Picture: Gravity

Gravity is such an outstanding work of visual brilliance, I knew there was only one man who could do it justice. Nope, not Alfonso Cuarón. It’s that young buck Jon Hill.

And, when you think about it, Gravity and Jon have an awful lot in common: both look phenomenal, are ultimately shallow and can give you Sandra Bullock in her pants on demand.

Read more about the overrated Gravity here, and see more of the over-talented Jon Hill here: www.jon-hill.co.uk

Courtesy of Jon Hill – http://www.jon-hill.co.uk/

And Jon produced this equine Guest Picture for Django Unchained last year.

Gravity; 2013; Dir: Alfonso Cuarón; Stars: Sandra Bullock; George Clooney; 91 mins; 7/10; 10 nominations: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actress (Sandra Bullock), Best Cinematography (Emmanuel Lubezki), Best Editing, Best Original Score (Steven Price), Best Visual Effects, Best Production Design, Best Sound Mixing, Best Sound Editing

Bloscars’ Best Picture chart

1.  American Hustle

2.  12 Years a Slave

3.  The Wolf of Wall Street

4. Captain Phillips

5.  Philomena

6.  Dallas Buyers Club

7.  Gravity

8.  Nebraska

9.

Guest Picture: Philomena

Drawing a picture about Philomena – the real-life bittersweet account of an Irish pensioner’s search for the son taken from her 50-years beforehand, reviewed here – was always going to be an unenviable task. So that’s why I gave it to an unenviable gentleman…Mr Si Hill.

“Just do a picture of Alan Partridge shoving a blind Judi Dench into an American-style breakfast buffet”, I suggested.

But what he came up with may be even more moving…

www.SiHill.co.uk – @Siiighhill

Courtesy of Si Hill – http://www.SiHill.co.uk – @Siiighhill

And Simon produced this heartfelt Guest Picture for Silver Linings Playbook last year.

Philomena; 2013; Dir: Stephen Frears; Stars: Judi Dench; Steve Coogan; Anna Maxwell Martin; 98 mins; 8/10; 4 nominations: Best Picture, Best Actress (Judi Dench), Best Adapted Screenplay (Steve Coogan and Jeff Pope), Best Original Score (Alexandre Desplat)

Bloscars’ Best Picture chart

1.  American Hustle

2.  12 Years a Slave

3.  The Wolf of Wall Street

4. Captain Phillips

5.  Philomena

6.  Dallas Buyers Club

7.  Nebraska

8.

9.

Guest Picture: Dallas Buyers Club

“Do a picture on the film about the homophobic Aids cowboy, Jayne”, said I. “It’s got a name, you dreadful idiot”, responded she. “Good point”, I retorted, “do a picture on Dallas Buyers Club“. And she said, “Yes”.

And then this absolute beaut landed in my inbox.

‘Nuff said really. But if you disagree (rude!) then take a look at my review of the film and at Jayne’s shit-hot tumblr site thingy:

http://www.jaynelikestodraw.tumblr.com

Courtesy of Jayne Pankhurst – http://jaynelikestodraw.tumblr.com/

And Jayne produced this doe-eyed Guest Picture for Les Misérables last year.

Dallas Buyers Club; 2013; Dir: Jean-Marc Vallée; Stars: Matthew McConaughey; Jared Leto; Jennifer Garner; 117 mins; 7/10; 6 nominations: Best Picture, Best Actor (Matthew McConaughey), Best Supporting Actor (Jared Leto), Best Original Screenplay, Best Adapted Screenplay (Craig Borten and Melisa Wallack), Best Editing, Best Makeup and Hairstyling

Bloscars’ Best Picture chart

1.  American Hustle

2.  12 Years a Slave

3.  The Wolf of Wall Street

4. Captain Phillips

5.  Dallas Buyers Club

6.  Nebraska

7.

8.

9.

Guest Picture: The Wolf of Wall Street

I was going to do a gag about how I describe all the Guest Pictures I feature with such perennial hyperbole that it would be 100% apt to label me as the boy who cried Wolf of Wall Street. But the joke doesn’t work. At all.

So I’ll shut the heckings up and let Lydia Fee’s most splendid shapes, colours and dimensions speak for themselves.

She has produced an image so layered with meaning and symbolism, I challenge any of you to identify all of the metaphors she’s teemed the picture with. At my count, there are half a dozen Easter eggs to find. I, of course, know all of them – which owes in equal parts to my vast intelligence and the fact that Lydia told me what they are.

Check out Lydia’s hot deets below, and take a look at my review of Scrosese’s debaucherous and divisive epic here.

www.lydiafee.co.uk

@lydiafee

Courtesy of Lydia Fee – http://www.lydiafee.co.uk – @lydiafee

Lydia also produced this birdacious Guest Picture for Amour last year.

The Wolf of Wall Street; 2013; Dir: Martin Scorsese; Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie; 180 mins; 8/10; 5 nominations: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor (Leonardo DiCaprio), Best Supporting Actor (Jonah Hill), Best Adapted Screenplay (Terence Winter)

Bloscars’ Best Picture chart

1.  American Hustle

2.  12 Years a Slave

3.  The Wolf of Wall Street

4.  Captain Phillips

5.

6.

7.

8.

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Guest Picture: 12 Years a Slave

Considering that Steve McQueen, director of 12 Years a Slave, is a former Turner Prize winning artist, today’s Guest Picture may well be the most apposite yet…it’s on 12 Years a Slave you see.

Now some people would say that my review of said film is a work of art in its own right. Alex Dimond however, sought to rudely disagree. He did so with such vehement ferocity indeed, that I couldn’t not let him put together his very own image.

Now Alex is a curious fellow (just take a look at the way he spells his surname). His loves include vinyl, sandwiches, Ric Flair and Frank Sidebottom (not necessarily in that order) and, regardless of what you think of that, it would be churlish to deny that he’s one hell of an artist.

If, for some reason known only to God Himself, you don’t wish to trust My word on the matter, then down a carton of truth juice by checking out Alex’s blog and the below triptych triumph.

www.alexd.co.uk

@alexplosion

Courtesy of Alex Dimond – http://alexd.co.uk – @alexplosion

12 Years a Slave; 2013; Dir: Steve McQueen; Stars: Chiwetel Ejiofor,Michael Fassbender, Lupita Nyong’o; 134 mins; 9/10; 9 nominations: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor (Chiwetel Ejiofor), Best Supporting Actor (Michael Fassbender), Best Supporting Actress (Lupita Nyong’o), Best Adapted Screenplay (John Ridley), Best Editing, Best Production Design, Best Costume Design

Bloscars’ Best Picture chart

1.  American Hustle

2.  12 Years a Slave

3.  Captain Phillips

4.

5.

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8.

9.

Guest Picture: Captain Phillips

You can throw a lot of clichés at Captain Phillips (the film, not the man) and I imagine that I probably did in my review; ‘nail biting’, ‘edge of the seat’ and ‘dead ruddy tense’ would be among the throng.

And I felt similar tension as my snail-like computer struggled to open Martin Jones’s’s’s’s artwork for Paul Greengrass’s’s’s’s’s’s’s’s’s’s’s film.

A recent father, I feared Smart Mart’s (co-founder of Torchy Design http://www.torchydesign.co.uk/) pictorial adaptation would be a sugar-coated cluster of fluffy bunnies, googly-eyed teddy bears and, I dunno, let’s say Teletubbies thrown in for garish measure.

You’ll imagine my delight then, when this beaut was then eventually revealed:

Courtesy of Martin Jones – http://www.torchydesign.co.uk

And here’s Smart Mart’s OBL-smashing Zero Dark Thirty pic from last year.

Captain Phillips; 2013; Dir: Paul Greengrass; Stars: Tom Hanks; Barkhad Abdi; Barkhad Abdirahman; 134 mins; 8/10; 6 nominations: Best Picture, Best Supporting Actor (Barkhad Abdi), Best Adapted Screenplay (Billy Ray), Best Editing, Best Sound Mixing, Best Sound Editing

Bloscars’ Best Picture chart

1.  American Hustle

2.  Captain Phillips

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

Guest Picture: American Hustle

Remember that time from last year when a bunch of perfectly ordinary ‘people’ drew, designed and origami’d an assortment of extraordinary images? Sure you do…or at least if you don’t, here’s a reminder.

Well, this year they’re back and they’re sketchier than ever…in more ways than one.

First up (again) is that pint-sized princess or picturedom, Miss Anjoli Dey. We went and saw American Hustle in the company of one another and she basically agreed with everything I said in my review and also that I’m awesome.

What’s more, she done pointed out this bit of trivia platinum:

During my research, I found there was a lot of love for the fashion and styling of the film, but there were some bloopers that were highlighted by some beauty blogs. Mainly, that Christian Bale’s character uses L’Oreal hairspray which didn’t actually exist until 30 years later. So I may have highlighted one of the film’s errors. Oops!

Yep, it’s so good that I’m falling over myself to promote the rest of her darn spiffing work. Go hithers…

www.anjolidey.co.uk

@anjolidey

Courtesy of Anjoli Dey – http://www.anjolidey.co.uk – @anjolidey

And here’s the paper-folding goodness that Anjoli put together last year for Beasts of the Southern Wild.

American Hustle; 2013; Dir: David O. Russell; Stars: Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Bradley Cooper; 138 mins; 9/10; 10 nominations: (Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor (Christian Bale), Best Actress (Amy Adams), Best Supporting Actor (Bradley Cooper), Best Supporting Actress (Jennifer Lawrence), Best Original Screenplay (David O. Russell and Eric Singer, Best Editing, Best Production Design, Best Costume Design)

Bloscars’ Best Picture chart

1.  American Hustle

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Guest Picture: Bruce Dern

In reverence of Bruce Dern’s award-bothering performance in Nebraska, I’ve taken a look back at his only Oscar nomination to date in Coming Home.

What’s more, I roped in my buddy Jon Hill to help out. Below is his splendid portrait of Dern all trussed up in his Captain’s get up in Hal Ashby’s 1978 anti-Vietnam movie.

And if you like that (and who wouldn’t?), then do check out the rest of his art work. It’s utterly sublime…

www.jon-hill.co.uk

Courtesy of Jon Hill – http://www.jon-hill.co.uk/