Oscars 2014: Live blog

What? Best Picture already?

Best Picture: 12 Years a Slave

Wow, as in the film, Brad Pitt putting himself centre stage.

Steve McQueen’s mum waving. Shot of the night.

———

2013 Oscars: The Winners

Best Picture:

Argo

Courtesy of Natasha Searston – http://www.natashasearston.com – @natashasearston

Best Actor:

Daniel Day-Lewis for Lincoln

Best Actress:

Jennifer Lawrence for Silver Linings Playbook

Best Director:

Ang Lee for Life of Pi

Best Original Screenplay:

Quentin Tarantino for Django Unchained

Best Adapted Screenplay:

Chris Terrio for Argo

Best Original Song:

“Skyfall” by Adele and Paul Epworth for Skyfall

Best Original Score:

Life of Pi

Best Production Design:

Lincoln

Best Editing:

Argo

Best Supporting Actress:

Anne Hathaway for Les Misérables

Best Sound Editing:

Skyfall

AND

Zero Dark Thirty

Best Sound Mixing:

Les Misérables

Best Foreign Language Film:

Amour (Austria)

Best Documentary:

Searching for Sugar Man

Best Documentary Short:

Inocente

Best Short Film:

Curfew

Best Makeup and Hairstyling:

Les Misérables

Best Costume Design:

Anna Karenina

Best Visual Effects:

Life of Pi

Best Cinematography:

Life of Pi

Best Animated Feature:

Brave

Best Short Animation:

Paperman

Best Supporting Actor:

Christoph Waltz for Django Unchained

And like that, it was gone

It’s undoubtedly the most disastrous moment in the history of the Academy Awards since Crash won Best Picture in 2005…

Due to a minor medical emergency, I will be spending Oscar night in Her Majesty’s St Tom’s Hospital.

Don’t fret though my dear dear deer friends. It isn’t your author who’s in strife. It’s a friend. I say friend, he used to be…

I just hope that the epic disappointment (the biggest let-down since Spiderman 3(?)) hasn’t ruined your evenings too.

I do hope you enjoy Billy C and his utter smuggery. I suspect his weak one-liners will leave you with as bitter a taste in your mouth as the cheap champagne-substitute that I wish I was drinking.

It’s almost sad to think of it chilling in the fridge. Almost as sad as thinking of the pork joint roasting in the…oh shit. I have a call to make…

Enjoy, you lucky lucky bastards.

Kind regards.

Bloscars